What
better way to spend a long weekend than splashing with little boys on a
gentle beach, hiking in a tropical forest and talking story with an old friend?
Talk story, or mo'olelo in Hawaiian, is the important oral tradition of personally sharing stories to preserve them for future generations. The Hawaiian language was long an oral language until the missionaries devised a written alphabet in order to translate the bible, thus chanting legends, telling stories of historical events and passing down family memories has been and continues to be essential to the culture. But talk story is also the casual term for chtting or shooting the breeze exactly what friends do when catching up on holiday.
We are spending a few weeks in the tiny little town of Haiku on the north shore of Maui and my old friend Taryn came to visit with her husband Krishna and their two boys Sage (5) and Summit (3). They live in the beach town of Kailua on Oahu and happily island-hopped over to play with us. It has been two years since Taryn and I saw each other when I was pregnant with Xavier, so I was very excited to introduce them to each other. While she and I picked right up where we'd left off, as good friends do, I got to thinking about the story of our friendship and our shared history. Sometimes you get to toast a friend at her birthday or wedding or funeral, but how often really do we get to pay tribute? Not often enough...
Taryn and I met during the
first days of our freshman year at Boston College. We moved into dorm rooms
across the hall from each other on the third floor of Gonzaga Hall. I had
flown out from South Dakota and Taryn's mother Gail had traveled with her from Hawaii.
Taryn made a strong first impression on me and having made a mental note to
myself to hang out with her, I called out "Hi Taryn" when I later saw the two of them walking across campus. Her mother predicted, "You two are
going to be friends." And fast friends we became.
Taryn had
then, and has since retained and refined, a beautiful free spirit paired with a lively
intelligence plus the ability to focus. She seemed so confident and at ease in her
skin, a rare trait for a college freshman. And she was open-minded, spontaneous and fun - that kind of zest for life is infectious. She and I would plan
adventures around Boston and wonder why so many of our classmates rarely left
our suburban campus. We explored Walden Pond in glorious autumn colors,
we cheered at the Bean Cup Hockey match, participated in the revelry of St.
Patrick's day in an Irish-loving town, discussed crushes on boys, studied side by side, and
spent hours in deep discussion about our futures. Gail sent care
packages full of Kona coffee and treats from the islands and we would sit up
late whispering in her dorm room drinking coffee stifling laughter, trading
secrets and hatching big plans.
Partially due to the
expensive tuition, I transferred out of Boston College halfway through my
sophomore year to go to the University of Montana. I hated to leave
Taryn, but we knew we'd stay close. She came out to visit me in Missoula
that spring break and I went back to visit her in Boston senior year.
After graduation, she joined the Peace Corps and spent three years in
Niger. Meanwhile, I traveled around Europe and then moved to San
Francisco. All the while we wrote long handwritten letters back and forth.
She moved back to Hawaii and entered graduate school and came to visit me in
California. And I jumped at the chance to visit her in Hawaii a few times.
Back in Kailua, she met Krishna after
he'd returned home from living abroad in Tahiti and Portugal.
Krishna knew he wanted to marry Taryn the first time he saw her and he
pursued her hard. In six months they were living together and soon they were
planning a wedding. I came over for the celebration on Lanikai Beach and it was
a beautiful union to witness. After I met Christian they both came to play with us in Vancouver and now our husbands are friends too. Fast forward and Taryn and
Krishna have two sweet little boys, Sage (5) and Summit (3). I got to
meet her boys two years ago when Christian and I came out to Hawaii when I was
7 months pregnant with Xavier and they were happy to give us the lowdown on
parenting, or what Krishna calls "the beautiful carnage." Christian
and I were taking notes on their family freestyle and
I particularly wanted to model Taryn's "long leash"
attitude for raising her sons. We stayed in Gail's house down the
street so we'd stroll over for BBQ's or meet them at the beach
after work. We loved feeling like locals and adapted quickly to island
life. In-between being a rad mom, surfing and paddling outrigger canoes between islands, Taryn heads up outreach for homeless veterans in Oahu.
These days, Taryn is just as cool and just as fun as she was the day I met her. This trip, on short hikes with our little boys she would veer off into the trees to glean a tee shirt full of ripe passion fruits. Per local custom, her boys call me Auntie and Christian Uncle. Sage and Summit taught Xavier how to give knuckles and make sand castles. We all grilled fish tacos, swam at reef-sheltered Baby Beach and teased our spouses. We caught up on each other's families, mutual friends and big life plans. Just living aloha and talking story...
Cheers to friendship!
